How Do I Move On After Getting Cheated On?

Experiencing betrayal in a relationship where you once felt safe, secure, and loved is one of the worst life experiences someone can have. The place you once expected to keep you the most protected is now the source of your gut-wrenching, confusing, overwhelming ache.

A lot of people who experience relational betrayal end up feeling like it was somehow their fault and start anxiously revisiting memories from the past, trying to put the pieces together. Maybe your partner even suggested their cheating was caused by something you did or didn’t do. These feelings can amplify the shame being cheated on already brings.

If any of this sounds like you, friend, you can take a deep breath. It’s not your fault that you were cheated on. No matter what problems there might have been, infidelity is never justified.

In this post, we’ll explore how to heal after infidelity and some compassionate, practical steps to help you move forward—whether you’re still with your partner and trying to rebuild or you’ve decided to walk away.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

No one wants to feel earth-shattering pain. We’d typically rather avoid it, stuff it, replace it with Netflix, scrolling TikTok, food, activities, going out, etc. Anything rather than face the ache inside. There’s nothing wrong with seeking healthy distraction sometimes, but healing also requires space to feel your emotions.

Helpful ways to process your pain could include:

• Journaling your thoughts and emotions daily.

• Writing a letter to your partner (you don’t have to send it) expressing everything you feel.

• Trying a structured journaling exercise: write down the painful belief (“Because they cheated, I must be unlovable”) and then write the truth alongside it (“I feel deeply hurt, but this betrayal doesn’t define my worth”).

Allowing yourself to grieve helps release bottled-up pain and makes room for genuine healing.

2. Be Patient with Yourself

Going through betrayal brings up intense feelings of grief. We don’t just grieve when someone is lost through death. We grieve when there is any form of loss, including loss of trust or loss of the relationship.

Healing after being cheated on isn’t linear. It doesn’t automatically get easier with time. It molds and the way it shows up can change, but time passing doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds. That being said, it’s normal to have good days and bad days. It’s normal if you wake up in a month, or six, or a year, and are hit with a fresh wave of pain. Now, the intensity of that pain might differ in a year than the day after you found out, but you might still find it there.

So, be gentle and patient with yourself. You don’t have to be “over it” by any particular time. Betrayal pain goes deep.

3. Don’t Go Through This Alone

Sometimes the person who was cheated on feel embarrassed. They feel ashamed that this happened to them. That can lead to isolation and an even deeper sense of loneliness.

Surround yourself with as much support as possible from your friends, church, family. Find people who can sit with you in your pain without minimizing it or blaming you.

4. Consider Therapy

If you’re here and reading this because someone cheated on you, I am so sorry. If you’re looking for a compassionate therapist in Austin, TX, or online anywhere in Texas, I’d be honored to walk with you through this healing process.

Working with me can help you:

• Work through trauma triggers related to the betrayal.

• Untangle self-blame and rediscover your value.

• Explore what you want for your future, whether that includes your partner or not.

I work with clients in Austin and throughout Texas. If you’d like support after betrayal, fill out the contact form on my website, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

Final Thoughts: Healing Is Possible

Infidelity pain runs deep, but you are not alone and you are not broken. With time, support, prayer, and intentional healing, you can rebuild your life and even experience trust and love again.